Monday, November 19, 2007
Happy Birthday, Tannah!
My little girl is officially two-years-old. She got lots of presents: a stuffed bunny that resembles the one she chases around in the back yard, and some gourmet dog treats. Happy birthday, Tannah-Banana!
Sunday, September 16, 2007
"And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us..." (Ps 90:17)
"To possess true beauty, we must be willing to suffer. I don't like that. Just writing it down makes my heart shrink back. Yet, if Christ Himself was perfected through His sufferings, why would I believe God would not do the same with me? Women who are stunningly beautiful are women who have had their hearts enlarged by suffering. By saying, 'Yes' when the world says 'No.' By paying the high price of loving truly and honestly without demanding that they be loved in return. And by refusing to numb their pain in the myriad of ways available. They have come to know that when everyone and everything else has left them, God is there.
Living in true beauty can require much waiting, much time, much tenacity of spirit...because it is a rare woman who chooses to keep her heart alive in this dangerous world. As we gaze on Jesus, as we behold His goodness, His glory, we are changed into His likeness, the most beautiful Person of all."
(Excerpt from Captivating by Stasi Eldredge)
Oh, beauty. I don't think there is a woman in the world who doesn't want to be beautiful, or at least wanted to at some point in her life. But I think we all know that God's idea of beauty and the world's idea of beauty are quite different. The world is focused on physical beauty. They judge beauty based on aesthetic appearance. God, on the other hand, seems a lot more concerned with the beauty of His children's hearts and less with their physical appearance. He is more interested in loving, pure, holy hearts than he is in athletic frames (although, I'm sure He appreciates our aerobic efforts as well). With this understanding in mind, a particular piece of the excerpt above caught my eye:
"...it is a rare woman who chooses to keep her heart alive in this dangerous world."
Keeping my heart alive in this dangerous world? I think it was the verbiage that really grabbed me. It looks like such a life-and-death kind of statement. Could my heart really die as a result of the cares and hurts that come in life? As I sat and thought about it a little more, I realized that, yes, there is definitely a way I could let my heart die. Going a little further, I could even kill my heart if I chose to.
There is no question that life has ups and it has downs. There are times of indescribable joy, and times of heart-wrenching pain and sorrow. I wish my life were a permanent joy-fest, but that won't happen until I get to my REAL home in Heaven. I'm not trying to make this sound like a gloomy blog, I love my life. I'm blessed in more ways than I deserve, but that doesn't mean that I live a pain-free, sorrow-free existence. I do, however, live a "despair-free" existence. That's because I know that I have a Heavenly Father who is continually working all things together for my good. I know that, even when things don't appear to be working out the way I wanted them to, or in the time frame I had in mind, God is still running the show.
What does any of this have to do with beauty? I think a truly beautiful woman is one who chooses to keep her heart open even after it's been hurt. She knows who her God is and trusts that He, first and foremost, is the One who holds her heart in His hands. Like Stasi said, she "...says 'Yes' when the world says 'No'." When most people would shut their hearts down to avoid any future injury, a beautiful woman remains vulnerable, open, loving, and trusting. If you ask me, that is a demonstration of faith. By choosing to keep her heart open, she shows that she trusts God to take care of her heart, no matter what other people may do to it.
My prayer, and my heart's desire, is that God would show me how to be that kind of woman, one that is truly beautiful. That He would help me keep my heart open. I pray that I will always be willing to share myself, my REAL self, with others... even if it means enduring some heartache. Maybe there is some truth to that old saying, "Pain is beauty and beauty is pain." Just, perhaps, not in the way most people think.
Living in true beauty can require much waiting, much time, much tenacity of spirit...because it is a rare woman who chooses to keep her heart alive in this dangerous world. As we gaze on Jesus, as we behold His goodness, His glory, we are changed into His likeness, the most beautiful Person of all."
(Excerpt from Captivating by Stasi Eldredge)
Oh, beauty. I don't think there is a woman in the world who doesn't want to be beautiful, or at least wanted to at some point in her life. But I think we all know that God's idea of beauty and the world's idea of beauty are quite different. The world is focused on physical beauty. They judge beauty based on aesthetic appearance. God, on the other hand, seems a lot more concerned with the beauty of His children's hearts and less with their physical appearance. He is more interested in loving, pure, holy hearts than he is in athletic frames (although, I'm sure He appreciates our aerobic efforts as well). With this understanding in mind, a particular piece of the excerpt above caught my eye:
"...it is a rare woman who chooses to keep her heart alive in this dangerous world."
Keeping my heart alive in this dangerous world? I think it was the verbiage that really grabbed me. It looks like such a life-and-death kind of statement. Could my heart really die as a result of the cares and hurts that come in life? As I sat and thought about it a little more, I realized that, yes, there is definitely a way I could let my heart die. Going a little further, I could even kill my heart if I chose to.
There is no question that life has ups and it has downs. There are times of indescribable joy, and times of heart-wrenching pain and sorrow. I wish my life were a permanent joy-fest, but that won't happen until I get to my REAL home in Heaven. I'm not trying to make this sound like a gloomy blog, I love my life. I'm blessed in more ways than I deserve, but that doesn't mean that I live a pain-free, sorrow-free existence. I do, however, live a "despair-free" existence. That's because I know that I have a Heavenly Father who is continually working all things together for my good. I know that, even when things don't appear to be working out the way I wanted them to, or in the time frame I had in mind, God is still running the show.
What does any of this have to do with beauty? I think a truly beautiful woman is one who chooses to keep her heart open even after it's been hurt. She knows who her God is and trusts that He, first and foremost, is the One who holds her heart in His hands. Like Stasi said, she "...says 'Yes' when the world says 'No'." When most people would shut their hearts down to avoid any future injury, a beautiful woman remains vulnerable, open, loving, and trusting. If you ask me, that is a demonstration of faith. By choosing to keep her heart open, she shows that she trusts God to take care of her heart, no matter what other people may do to it.
My prayer, and my heart's desire, is that God would show me how to be that kind of woman, one that is truly beautiful. That He would help me keep my heart open. I pray that I will always be willing to share myself, my REAL self, with others... even if it means enduring some heartache. Maybe there is some truth to that old saying, "Pain is beauty and beauty is pain." Just, perhaps, not in the way most people think.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Surprises in the mail
I am the last person in the world who should ever doubt God's ability to miraculously provide for my needs. I have seen time and time again how God can really bring things out of nowhere to take care of His kids when they're in trouble.
Since Interns has ended, I have been able to work more, which is good. But it seems like I just can't catch up on my finances. It's been very busy at Islands, but anytime I get some money, it goes to something right away. IE: Birthdays, car stuff, pet stuff, etc. I have always tithed faithfully and have seen it bring blessings into my life since I became a Christian almost two years ago.
But, I have to admit, I was a little curious as to why I wasn't seeing my usual prosperity in the finance department. I continued to tithe and give offerings, but I was barely making my bills. Not to mention, KidzCity Camp is coming up (woo hoo!) and that will require missing a week of work. I was frustrated! I had no idea where the increase was going to come from. I said, "O.K. God. I have NO idea where the money is going to come from, but I know that I will be alright because You said that You will always provide for me and I will never be forsaken or ever have to go begging for bread. You even went so far as to say You would open the windows of Heaven over my life if I tithed. I may not see it, I may doubt it right now, but YOU said it and You don't lie, so I'll believe Your word."
Two or three weeks went by, same old same. I suppose it was a time for my faith to be tested and give offerings and tithe faithfully, even when money is tight. BUT...
Two days ago I got a letter from my auto insurance company. I opened it and it contained a check for $136! I was like, "WHAT?! What even IS this?" It turns out that my insurance company had a very successful year and decided to select certain individuals with good driving records and award them some of their premium as a return. Hahahahaha! I had no idea that this kind of thing even happens. I guess it just goes to show you that you really have NO idea where God is going to bring your blessings from. He can even bring it from your car insurance!
Since Interns has ended, I have been able to work more, which is good. But it seems like I just can't catch up on my finances. It's been very busy at Islands, but anytime I get some money, it goes to something right away. IE: Birthdays, car stuff, pet stuff, etc. I have always tithed faithfully and have seen it bring blessings into my life since I became a Christian almost two years ago.
But, I have to admit, I was a little curious as to why I wasn't seeing my usual prosperity in the finance department. I continued to tithe and give offerings, but I was barely making my bills. Not to mention, KidzCity Camp is coming up (woo hoo!) and that will require missing a week of work. I was frustrated! I had no idea where the increase was going to come from. I said, "O.K. God. I have NO idea where the money is going to come from, but I know that I will be alright because You said that You will always provide for me and I will never be forsaken or ever have to go begging for bread. You even went so far as to say You would open the windows of Heaven over my life if I tithed. I may not see it, I may doubt it right now, but YOU said it and You don't lie, so I'll believe Your word."
Two or three weeks went by, same old same. I suppose it was a time for my faith to be tested and give offerings and tithe faithfully, even when money is tight. BUT...
Two days ago I got a letter from my auto insurance company. I opened it and it contained a check for $136! I was like, "WHAT?! What even IS this?" It turns out that my insurance company had a very successful year and decided to select certain individuals with good driving records and award them some of their premium as a return. Hahahahaha! I had no idea that this kind of thing even happens. I guess it just goes to show you that you really have NO idea where God is going to bring your blessings from. He can even bring it from your car insurance!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Where do I even begin?
How does somebody write a blog about the fact that their year as an intern is coming to an end? What do you even say? How can I put what has happened this year into words? There are none. Maybe I'll get some more revelation a little bit later, but for now, I am at a loss...
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Oh my
SO many things to blog about. I would like to blog about decision-making...except I can't DECIDE what to say!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
GET IT?!?!?!?!
But seriously, I'll think of something soon. I realize I have been slacking in the blog department lately.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
GET IT?!?!?!?!
But seriously, I'll think of something soon. I realize I have been slacking in the blog department lately.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
My own Valentine
So, I know this should have been posted on Valentine's Day, but I never really got around to it. And, since I'm sick at home today, I figure this is a good time to do it.
I know you all know by now that I am an Intern. One of the rules of being an intern is that you cannot be involved in any sort of romantic relationship during the nine-month program. This is not to be legalistic or restrictive, but rather to take away anything that would distract me from fully devoting my time and energy to my relationship with God. Sounds good, right?
Well, being the emotional girl that I am, I was feeling a little glum on Valentine's Day this year, due to the fact that I have no Valentine. So I decided that I would ask God to give me a special present on the 14th. I didn't know what it would be, I just knew that I would know what it was when I got it.
I got about halfway through the day...nothing. I went over to my Mom's house in the afternoon to help her with my little brother. When I got there I told her about my little "deal" with God and how I was still waiting for it. She laughed and said, "Well, I'm sure He'll come through. He always does."
About ten minutes later she came over to me and handed me a book. Not just any book, but a Children's Bible. "I found this when I was cleaning out the storage unit" she said. "Read the first page." I opened it and inside was a note that my Dad had written to me when he gave me the Bible for Christmas in 1991; I was nine years old. It said:
Dear Leah,
This is your Dad's favorite book. My prayer for you is that you will read and learn from it every day. If you read this book and do what it says, God Almighty will be your friend - and there is no better friend. I love you, always.
-Dad
What better Valentine could I have gotten? :)
I know you all know by now that I am an Intern. One of the rules of being an intern is that you cannot be involved in any sort of romantic relationship during the nine-month program. This is not to be legalistic or restrictive, but rather to take away anything that would distract me from fully devoting my time and energy to my relationship with God. Sounds good, right?
Well, being the emotional girl that I am, I was feeling a little glum on Valentine's Day this year, due to the fact that I have no Valentine. So I decided that I would ask God to give me a special present on the 14th. I didn't know what it would be, I just knew that I would know what it was when I got it.
I got about halfway through the day...nothing. I went over to my Mom's house in the afternoon to help her with my little brother. When I got there I told her about my little "deal" with God and how I was still waiting for it. She laughed and said, "Well, I'm sure He'll come through. He always does."
About ten minutes later she came over to me and handed me a book. Not just any book, but a Children's Bible. "I found this when I was cleaning out the storage unit" she said. "Read the first page." I opened it and inside was a note that my Dad had written to me when he gave me the Bible for Christmas in 1991; I was nine years old. It said:
Dear Leah,
This is your Dad's favorite book. My prayer for you is that you will read and learn from it every day. If you read this book and do what it says, God Almighty will be your friend - and there is no better friend. I love you, always.
-Dad
What better Valentine could I have gotten? :)
Why am I so lucky?
I just celebrated my 25th birthday. What a terrific 48 (yes, 48) hours. Mine sort of lasted for two days this year. It was during this lengthy experience that I re-realized how fortunate I am. I have a great family, wonderful friends, and a relationship with God Almighty...who could ask for more? Thanks to everyone who made my two days so wonderful. I love each and every one of you.
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