Happy Father's Day

My Dad. So awesome. I love you and miss you more each day. The four Youssi daughters spent the day at Disneyland, where he used to take us...a LOT. Spending that time with them made me feel so good because I got to see how much of him is still alive in us. We definitely got our weird sense of humor from him...not to mention our capacity to make up random games in order to pass line-wating time. The best part of all is that I know he was with us the whole time, laughing right along with us. To all the Dad's on Earth and in Heaven: Happy Father's Day.






Becky eating the bone, Hannah climbing the cell, and me trying to get the dog to perch on my finger...weirdos indeed. Dad would be proud. :)




I can't see ANY family resemblance...can you? ;)

What is important?

You know what I think? I think the purpose of this whole "moving to LA" thing was to give me a chance to be out of the enviroment in which I have spent my whole life. To give me a chance to get away from everyone who knows me. Get away from people telling me what to think and to do, in order to let me figure things out for myself. I think that is what being in my twenties is all about: self-discovery. I find it interesting, now that four months has gone by, that all I really want to do is get back to what is the most important part of my life. Suddenly, fame, fortune and glitz don't seem so exciting. Today, family and God are the most exciting and fulfilling things I can imagine. I miss my church. I miss my family. I want to go where the people I love are. I don't want to live where everyone is on their own agenda, everyone has an ulterior motive...everyone is out for themselves. Was this the whole reason why You moved me here, Lord? To figure this out? Well I'm getting the message, loud and clear.

How do you know...

ANYTHING? I swear. One minute I think one way, and the next I am off in a totally different direction. I just want to follow God's will for me. I am following the basic principles of the Bible and stuff , but I don't know what to think about certain things. I need clarity.

This is so AWESOME!!!

So, less than three hours after posting the blog about how I was bawling my eyes out because I miss my Dad so much, he has given me something to smile about. I was talking to my best friend about everything while we were at the gym and she has always been there to help me through any rough spot in my life. She also happens to work at a casting office, where she receives many gifts from actors who have been cast in something by her, or are hoping to be. These gifts usually take the form of cookies, brownies, alcohol, cards, gift certificates, and other things like that. Today, however, when she got back from the gym, there was a pecan pie sitting on the desk addressed to her and her boss. The pie was a gift from an actor who was apologizing for being late to an audition. In the entire year that my friend has worked in that office, no one has EVER given them pie of any kind. It also happens that pecan is my Dad's favorite dessert of all time. I can't help but smile because I know that this was a special message from my Dad to let me know that he is still with me. He heard everything I was saying earlier today and he did something to show me that he is thinking about me. I love it and I love you, Dad!

Has it really only been 5 months?

Yep. Only 5 months since my Dad went home to Heaven, but it seems like a lifetime. I can keep it together most of the time. I can usually be happy that he is with Jesus, but today I am tired of the whole "not having him around" thing. I have my graduation ceremony on May 13th (Brittne and I are walking in the same ceremony!) and I know how much my Dad wanted to be there. I believe he still will be, but I wish I could see him watch me walk across that platform as the first Youssi girl to get a Bachelor's degree.





Today I am wishing for the Rapture so I can get to Heaven and jump into my Dad's arms for the most gigantic hug ever! I know I still have work to do, people to meet, and things to accomplish. But I am content, at this moment, to daydream and think upon the moment when I will be reunited with my Father, both of them. :)

Why I hate PetCo...and so should you.

****My room mate, Megan posted this blog. I was going to write one too because I am seriously appalled at what happened to my baby girl. May such a thing NEVER happen to your pets. DON'T EVER TAKE THEM TO BE GROOMED AT PETCO. Here's why:


Friday, April 21, 2006 - 1:3

Why I hate Petco:

Anyone who's known me for awhile knows that I've never really been a big fan of pets. Especially dogs. But living with two pet owners has fastly changed my view. I have a very special affinity for our five month old puppy, Tannah, despite her repeated attempts at stealing my boyfriend and the "mysterious" wet spots she leaves in my closet.


Like every good mom does, Leah brought in the Tan-imal in for a grooming. Not really knowing any groomers in LA, she picked the Petco at LaBrea and 3rd, since it's supposedly "where the pets go." Four hours after dropping her off, Leah gets a call from Petco saying "Your puppy was wiggling while the groomer was shaving her and was cut. We took her to the vet for stitches. We need you to authorize treatment and antibiotics."





!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






And, yeah, you sign a waiver saying you won't sue in the event that your dog is scratched or nicked, but stitches?? When we finally got her back, five hours later, it turned out that the one inch cut on her hind leg actually needed 8 staples to close it up. The Petco GM did call to apologize, but not before the store employees neglected to call Leah before the dog was transported to the vet, joked that she'd been "sold to someone else," and offered a "free grooming coupon" for the inconvenience. Jerks.



















Thankfully, two days later, our little Cosmonaut puppy is in good spirits, back to jumping and playing and eating my shoes. Moral of the story, Petco is NOT where pets should go...

Please pass the word along to as many people as possible. Thank you!

I'm being romanced <3

Do you ever feel like God finds a special way to tell you how much He loves you? God speaks to me a lot through music. The first time I heard the lyrics of this song, I cried. I felt like it was a special love song from God to me. He used it to tell me how much he treasures me and thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am, today.


Mercy Reigns
By: Shane Barnard

She hides her face, it seems too good
For Your embrace to find her
And say, "My dove, your voice is sweet
Show me your form... your form is lovely"

Your mercy reigns
Your mercy comes
Your mercy falls and rises with the sun
(Repeat)

It's new every morning
Its new every morning
Its good enough for me

No ear has heard a melody
As sweet as yours for her
It seems too good, so undeserved
My heart faints now, for we are her

Your mercy reigns
Your mercy comes
Your mercy falls and rises with the sun
(Repeat)

I will abide in Your love, Your love

(Song of Solomon 2:14, Lamentations 3:22-23)

I love you too, Jesus :)

To life!

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved."

Ephesians 2:4-5

So grateful to be alive in Christ today!

Whoa

Okay, so if anyone hasn't heard by now, I have been struggling with whether or not the Lord wants me to stay here in LA. I have felt really disconnected from Him and have been feeling pulled toward home in San Diego. I kept praying and asking God to reveal His will for me. I would always tell Him that I was willing to do whatever and go wherever He said, when secretly, I really just wanted to come home. Well, you can't keep secrets from God, can you? Sure enough, He began convicting me of my double-mindedness. I felt like He was saying, "You say you're willing to do whatever I say, but it seems like you already have your mind made up about what you're going to do. You already have your heart set on San Diego. What if I asked you to stay up here? Would you be willing to do it?" Upon examining my heart, I realized that I needed to FULLY surrender the direction of my life to Him. I finally gave up and said "Yes. I will stay here if You want me to."

The interesting thing is, once I fully gave up my will, God started hinting that He wanted me to move back. This weekend I was at church and at the GC Cell at the girls' house, and I was seeking advice and getting lots of prayer. I was telling the girls that I was fully willing to move back to San Diego, but I feel like I would be looked at as a failure; like I couldn't "hack it" in L.A. Also, there was the tiny little matter of me having just paid $1500 to join the Screen Actors Guild. I had already told the Lord that money is just money and I would still be willing to leave it all behind if He called me home.

I checked my bank account yesterday and the money that was taken out for my SAG membership was back in there!!! Then I got a call later that day saying that there was a "Problem with my card and they could not finalize my membership until I called them." If that is not God, I don't know what is! The money was GONE from my account on Thursday, and now it's back. It wasn't a "pending" transaction. The money was gone. God gave me my money back. I don't even know how to express the joy and gratitude to my loving, amazing, wonderful Savior. All I have to do is trust in Him, and He provides for me beyond my wildest dreams! Now I'm just waiting for God to show me where He wants me to live. I would like to live with my Mom but my stepdad won't allow it. I believe God will open the door to where I belong when the time is right. How great is our God, huh?

A Poem for my Dad

I did not write this. A dear friend of mine did. He knew my Dad well and grew up in the same church as him. When I get his permission, I will post the name of this amazing author. I love this piece so much because it reminds me of where my father truly is and that I will see him again someday.

To mourn and honor the memory of a man who has passed through into the otherside;
A moment to reflect, then, and to ourselves remind,
That even as these tears may grace our face,
Set your mind to drift a moment, and picture Heaven’s gates,
And there awaits,
Tears of joy between a man and savior,
Shared in their embrace.

Rejoice, that so great is his reward,
To kneel before the presence of his sovereign Lord,
And hear these words at this life’s end,
“Welcome home, my son. Well done, my friend.”
And when these nights have passed, each morning turns to day,
And when all of our understanding seems as if its flown away,
When those tears well up in the corners of our eyes, we question if we can cope,
Don’t forget that if this life ends with joy, then it must always run with hope.
Think on the memory of a Man who has passed before us, who walked in lifealong our side,
A moment to reflect then, and to ourselves remind,
That even as tears may grace our face,
Heaven’s gates are not so far, where tears of joy await;
As we remember this man,
Drawn before our Lord and Savior, and sharing his embrace.

Who did they think I was?

Alright. I admit it. I am thoroughly addicted to reading everyone else's blogs. I love seeing what is going on in everyone else's lives so I figured someone, somewhere, might want to know what's going on in mine. If not, this will serve as a nice diary, which I was NEVER good at keeping.
So I live in L.A. now. I don't like it yet. I really miss San Diego and want to come back but I promised myself I would give L.A. six months before I decided to make any changes.
L.A. is definitely different than San Diego. Everything just moves faster up here. There is pretty much always traffic, there is never any parking, and everyone walks around in a big hurry. There are good aspects of L.A. as well. There is always something to do, the shopping up here is fantastic, and my best friend lives here.
I suppose I really realized I was living in L.A. about a week ago as I was walking to the gym. I had my sunglasses on and my hair was pulled back into a pony tail. I was listening to my IPod Nano (jealous?) and wearing the typical sweatpants and tshirt. The 24 Hour Fitness that I go to is located in a large shopping center that includes restaurants, stores, and a big movie theater. As I was walking, I noticed a gentleman with a camera around his neck. I'm not talking about a regular camera like I would have, I'm talking about one of those professional, high-powered cameras that photographers use.
I didn't really give the man a second glance until I he picked up his camera, pointed it at me and started snapping away. At first I just thought he was taking pictures of the scenery around me, (there was a giant poster for Brokeback Mountain right behind me) but as I walked, he followed me, all the while taking pictures. Needless to say I was quite baffled.
I finally made it past him to the door of the gym. Before going inside I turned around to look at this person who was so intent on photographing me, just to make sure I wasn't imagining things. Well, you would have thought me turning around was the most exciting thing this gentleman had ever seen because he proceeded to crouch down on the ground and take even MORE pictures! I just turned around, bewildered, and went inside.
I have no idea what that was about. Apparently this person thought I was somebody famous, or at least worth taking pictures of. Haha. The poor guy will go into his boss' office all excited because he thinks he has a whole bunch of great shots of someone famous. I hope he doesn't get in trouble! I wonder who he thought I was...